Willow, our daughter, bounded into the lounge room one evening announcing that when she finished high school she wanted to move overseas and be an aupair.
Bec and I looked at each other, thinking this was just another idea Willow had devised. It started with Italy being her preferred destination, but 12 months later we found ourselves at the International Departures Gate at Melbourne Airport.
Family photos in Willow’s new home city of Qingdao
Willow was heading to China to stay with a Qingdao family she had met through her boss, who owned the local Chinese restaurant in our hometown. For us as parents, the choice of China was not shocking. We felt that she would be safer in China than say Italy, which was her first choice.
She was moving straight out of home at age 18 and across the globe to the other side of the world. In reality, we should have expected this, as we had dragged her to over 40 countries by the age of 14 including China previously. Both her mother and I stood there with tears streaming down our faces at Melbourne Airport as our first child disappeared out of sight and into the big wide world beyond our control.
The days and weeks that followed were filled with a flurry of phone calls and internet messages where we needed constant reassurance from her that she was okay and everything was fine. After all, we let her move across the world to live with people we had never met or knew. This was where our fears lay, not in the fact that she was moving to China, it was more to do with who she was living with and working for.
They could have been anyone, and this played on our minds constantly, to the point where Bec was not sleeping well, staying awake with worry and anxiety about Willow’s life in China.
About 5 weeks in, we bit the bullet and booked tickets to China just to ease our minds. We arrived in China 9 weeks after Willow had left. We found Willow to be in a happy headspace, loving and living her best life.
Gary, Tia, Gracie and Willow
Most of all, we met her host family, Gary, Tia and their girl Gracie. We had previously talked to them on the phone but never in person. The first night there we went out to a restaurant to have dinner with them and both sets of their parents.
This put us at ease, knowing these people were family-oriented and throughout the meal, they all spewed forth tales of how much they liked Willow. Even though Gray and Tia’s parents don’t speak English and we do not speak Mandarin, there seems to be a bond and the way we connect has formed lifelong relationships with these people.
As I write this, we are on a plane having just left Qingdao for the second time in 6 months. Leaving Willow never gets easier; I think it was harder this time than last. I especially see the anguish and tears in Bec’s eyes when we have to leave. I know she feels the separation and the diminished part she plays in our daughter’s day-to-day life. But we leave knowing her Chome (China home) as we call it is a safe and happy place.
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Bec and I have developed a great relationship with Gary, Tia and their family, we have group chats and when we video call Willow we get to see them and say hello. Their daughter Gracie is a ball of energy and just so cute and she flies around their apartment on her scooter and sings songs with Willow.
Most of all, they have Willow’s best interests at heart and we have become part of an amazing Chinese family. We still miss Willow terribly but live knowing she is in a good place with amazing people doing what she wants. While our daughter now lives overseas and has no foreseeable plan to move back to Australia anytime we have come to peace with it and now and will no doubt be revisiting China in 2025.
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